Jul 29, 2012

You'd Break Your Neck To Keep Your Chin Up.

Sometimes things just don't feel right. And when things don't feel right, I don't always feel comfortable sharing them on this blog. Putting yourself out there is already challenging enough, and then you add some personal aspects and you feel completely naked, and completely vulnerable. This place is meant for inspiration, fashion, and most of all, happiness. As most of you know from reading I have been in a weird-funk transition period for a little while now. Not only am I diving head first into a new career and life, but I am also starting over on my own. To put it frankly, my relationship with Alex is no longer, and I truly feel like every single thing rests on my shoulders now. It's an incredibly scary thing and some days you just wish you could stop your brain from over analyzing.

This is something I didn't really feel comfortable sharing, but now that some time has passed it's something I wanted to address on the blog, because although this is a public online "diary" it's also something very personal that I want to look back on, and reflect on. It hasn't been easy, and there are days that are harder then others. It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking everyone's lives are lollipops and rainbows, but in reality, we all know deep down inside that's not the case. In a weird way this bridges us all on a deeper level, and we all know how bad things can hurt at certain times in our lives. I think part of me decided not to share at first because I didn't want to admit that some kind of failure existed in my life. It's overwhelming, and incredibly frightening to come to terms with things not being where they should be. I realized this doesn't make me any less of a person, if anything it makes my life real, just like every other human being on this earth.

I thought about the blogs that I read, and how certain bloggers who share parts of their lives and that really inspires me. I can think of two posts off the top of my head that really made me connect with that person, and admire them for opening up. Elizabeth's post here, and Jenni's post, here. It would have been easy not to share this, and never speak of it again, but reality is that things fall apart from time to time. No one has it all figured out, and we all have struggles and tribulations that lead us on our path. No one is exempt from feelings ,and being real and open, is the only thing that is comforting most of the time.

Things around here will stay the same, and although I am different, my passion is still growing every single day. One thing is for sure, and that is that I truly love the part of my life that has blossomed with this blog. I love the space I have created, and the steps I have taken to get to this point. Sitting down in front of my macbook brings solace to my soul and allows me to step back from the other things going on in my life. I appreciate all of you who have made my journey that much more exciting, thank for reading, commenting, emailing, etc.

So I ask you, to join me on this journey, and let's see where it goes? k? diving in head first is the only way to go.

xo



24 comments:

  1. Loved this post. <3

    My life is a mess at the moment but reading my blog may leave people thinking otherwise... I try to keep it happy but I think if you want anything you've created to feel real, there can't be anything but raw emotion and truth, right? I sat down a few days ago and started writing a post similar to yours; I just haven't finished it yet. It feels good to let it all out.
    Thanks for sharing. Always know you have friends in the blogosphere who are always willing to listen! :)

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  2. There are a thousand thoughts I would like to share with you, but let's keep it to one: thanks for sharing. I think it's so positive when people have the courage to share also the difficulties, because it somehow makes it easier for other people who are going through hard times to admit that - to themselves and to others. I wish for a world where we don't have to be afraid of showing that we - and we all are - vulnerable.

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  3. It's extremely couraging to read your vision and to know you're keeping you're head up high. Unfortunately, bad things happen but they are what we grow strong from.

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  4. We're with you all the way :)

    Sarah x

    www.smallestsarah.blogspot.com

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  5. This was beautiful, Maria... I think blogging should be equal parts pretty things and happiness and inspiration and also real life... if that's what you want it to be, anyway (blogging). I've never known any other way but to share some of the not-so-perfect. I think it makes you that much more endearing to anyone who also has a real life behind the scenes, too (i.e. EVERYONE). :)

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  6. I really appreciated reading this post. I have had similar moments the past couple months and have decided, like you, to talk through some of my feelings on my blog. While it's perhaps easier to paint a picture of perfection, it is not true to ourselves. If we intend for our blogs to truly be personal, I think it's important that we include some of the bad with the good. Keep strong; I too need to learn how to do things on my own, and I wish you luck as you figure things out.

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  7. What a beautiful, honest and touching post. You're right, we all go through hard times in our lives and that's what makes us who we are. No one's life is perfect. It sounds like you have a huge weight on your shoulders, and I know how hard that can be. Change is hard. Relationships are hard. But everything will get better and you will look back at these moments as a moment of growth and development. I love how you are staying positive and looking to the future.

    xo, Shannon

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  8. Thank you for having the courage to write this- I'm sure that it wasn't easy to put yourself out there. Hope that things work out with all the transitions. Good luck!

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  9. You are a beautiful, sweet, smart lady and I'm excited to continue to follow you on your journey through this life! Thank you for sharing this post I know it will help many.
    Rachel

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  10. Thanks for sharing. It happens to be exactly what I needed to read right now.

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  12. its nice to read this post, a lot of the times blogs make it seem like life is perfect and sunshine and amazing friends and such but its not always like that.
    life and people will let you down over and over but you have to keep pushing on and follow your dreams no matter what
    good luck to you and everything you do!
    if you ever need a friend for coffee or tea I'm right around the corner so to speak lol

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  13. Sharing the parts of your life that aren't rainbows and butterflies can still be inspiring, as this post was. It's just how you choose to take on the harder times and I think you choosing to drive head on is so beautiful and inspiring. Thanks for going through and sharing!
    Drey - highdollarhippie.blogspot.com

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  14. even though it didn't work out I certainly wouldn't say that it was a failure. I know it's so cheesy but I figure w/ relationships and most things in life, it's only a failure if we don't try... both cases because if it's something/someone who is worth our time of course and I'm sure you learned a ton from it. I'm definitely guilty of looking at other blogs and having to remind myself that we choose to only share the rosy not that everyone else's lives are better/more fun/prettier/more relaxing, what have you. But anyway, enough about me - thank YOU for sharing and I'm so glad to hear blogging has been such a positive part of your and know that although we're really strangers I'm sending you my good wishes and support.
    http://dusanabotswana.com/

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  15. This was a beautiful post and I admire you for sharing it with us :)

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  16. Keep your chin up. I know this is so cliche, but it gets easier every day. It truly does. But let yourself hurt. You're human. You will. I am going through the same thing right now.
    On another note, thank you for sharing. I write REAL posts all of the time. And I have found that's what people want--they want realness. This is real.
    xx,
    Sierra
    Oh, Just Living the Dream

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  17. My heart is with you, lady. I had a serious relationship end not too long ago, and it's just completely overwhelming. I'm STILL grieving the loss of someone who meant everything to me, and am still dealing with a lot of confusion and questions and hurt. Healing from this is such a day-to-day process, some days are better than others, and I think you feel just about every single emotion... it builds strength and wisdom and resilience, but it's also absolutely exhausting. (physically, emotionally, mentally) I feel for you and am right here with you during this time of healing. We'll get through it, I just know it!

    Sending you love. xoxo.

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  18. Thanks for sharing, lovely. My boyfriend of almost three years & I broke up in March and, though it was mutual and not a bad break up whatsoever, I'm still learning what my life looks like without him. It's a process, but we figure out who we are and what we want along the way. Just takes some trial-and-error. xo!

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  19. Maria I'm so sorry about that.Sharing this story means that you are strong enough to accept it and go on.And in a sense that means that you have been over it and you have realised that life goes on...Things are not always as they meant to be but through that you become stronger and stronger..
    xo
    Anastasia

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  20. I read through this ost yesterday, and once again today. I think that you are so brave for putting your feelings and emotions out here on your blog. I agree that I think a blog should be a reflection of your person, whether you are happy go lucky or going through a rough patch. It shows how real and relatable you can be. I really hope you all the best, and that you can get through this, and I know you will. I love coming to your blog, and I feel like I know you just a little more after this post. You are strong, and I look up to you :)

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  21. maria, it's your blog, share as much, or as little as you want. we all feel pain, if someone says they don't, they are on drugs or they are lying. that was my attempt at humor. wishing you opportunity & adventure. don't you think they are coming your way? i'm sure you're ready. :)

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  22. I can understand how difficult it is to post something that is extra personal like this online. When I first started blogging and I saw how happy/perfect everyone's relationships/lives seemed to be, I quickly got sucked in too. I couldn't bring myself to realization that my marriage was falling apart or that I was being diagnosed with a new debilitation illness. There are lots of blogs out there that constantly warn you not to "share or post personal things" in the blogosphere, but how are we actually relating to the blogger if they aren't doing just so? Nothing and no one in life is ever going to be perfect. We all have our share of breakups, failures, and troubles.. and some of us choose to share them and some of us don't. I personally like the bloggers that can open up and express their honest feelings, a blogger that is actually relate-able (like you!), rather than the bloggers that seem fake and never put forth any emotion towards their blog. I've stopped following the "happy generators", that post nothing but how perfect and successful their life is or how they can sew magical pillows and make perfect cupcakes from scratch. Ugh, just talking about it I feel like I could barf a rainbow.

    You are strong, beautiful, intelligent, and real. You have emotions and we are all okay with that because, ya know, we got them too ;), and we are all here for you. We're you're army of girlfriends!!! You go out there and live the new chapter in your life story. We'll all be right here waiting to read what happens next. :)

    xoxox
    lyndsey of hellolyndsey

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